Open with one concrete observation
By the end of the second line, the reader should be able to tell the email was written for them. “I had a look at your website” doesn't do that; say what you saw. Appointments by phone only. A product range that only exists on Instagram. A breakfast menu that names every local farm.
It has to be something they can check. A vague or invented compliment tells the reader the rest of the email is a template as well.
From observation to problem to outcome
Next, say in one sentence what that detail costs the business: evening booking requests going elsewhere, a range nobody finds through search. Then say what changed for businesses like theirs. If you haven't got a real number, don't reach for a big claim instead.
One small ask
Ask for one thing that takes little effort, such as “a 15-minute call” or “shall I send you a quick example?”. Three options just give the reader three decisions to make.
What to leave out
- Long introductions to your company and lists of features
- Over-familiar openings and gushing praise
- Attachments (they hurt deliverability in a first email)
- More than one link, and images
- Missing sender details or no way to opt out
Follow-ups
A short nudge a few days later, then one more from a different angle about a week after the first email, is plenty. Stop the moment anyone replies.